Just for a laugh

Eastsidepilot

Eastsidepilot

Western Thunderer
A politician dies, he’s greeted at the pearly gates by St Peter, who says, before you can come in, you have to spend one day in Heaven, then one day in Hell, the politician asked, why can’t I just come in, policy, said St Peter, so the politician spends his first day in heaven surrounded by singing angels and not much else, a bit boring this he thought, next day he arrives in Hell expecting baron wastelands, rivers of molten lava, and the wailing of the lost souls, but what he saw was lush green parkland, magnificent 5 star hotels, luxury cars, and beautiful beaches, there to greet him in a tuxedo was Satan, the politician said I never expected anything like this, Satan replied we have always been misrepresented, here we have the finest of everything, best hotels, best restaurants, the finest chefs, and the most beautiful golf courses, go and enjoy your day, so he went for a swim, played golf, ate the most wonderful meal he’d ever had, and slept the night in the most luxurious bed he’d ever slept in. The following morning he was back at the pearly gates, and St Peter asks, have you decided, he says yes, surprisingly I want to be in Hell, he arrives back in hell to find barren wastelands, rivers of molten lava, and the sound of all the tormented souls, and Satan in his tuxedo, what happened to all the beautiful greenery, the hotels, golf courses, and beaches, Satan replied, yesterday we were campaigning, today you voted
 
simond

simond

Western Thunderer
Eastsidepilot said:
A politician dies, he’s greeted at the pearly gates by St Peter, who says, before you can come in, you have to spend one day in Heaven, then one day in Hell, the politician asked, why can’t I just come in, policy, said St Peter, so the politician spends his first day in heaven surrounded by singing angels and not much else, a bit boring this he thought, next day he arrives in Hell expecting baron wastelands, rivers of molten lava, and the wailing of the lost souls, but what he saw was lush green parkland, magnificent 5 star hotels, luxury cars, and beautiful beaches, there to greet him in a tuxedo was Satan, the politician said I never expected anything like this, Satan replied we have always been misrepresented, here we have the finest of everything, best hotels, best restaurants, the finest chefs, and the most beautiful golf courses, go and enjoy your day, so he went for a swim, played golf, ate the most wonderful meal he’d ever had, and slept the night in the most luxurious bed he’d ever slept in. The following morning he was back at the pearly gates, and St Peter asks, have you decided, he says yes, surprisingly I want to be in Hell, he arrives back in hell to find barren wastelands, rivers of molten lava, and the sound of all the tormented souls, and Satan in his tuxedo, what happened to all the beautiful greenery, the hotels, golf courses, and beaches, Satan replied, yesterday we were campaigning, today you voted
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An Engineer dies. He arrives at the Pearly Gates, St Peter examines the big book, says, “downstairs, over there, thank you“, the Engineer protests, as well he might. St Peter replies “Sorry, book says No!, staircase, over there, thank you”. The Engineer does as he’s bid, eventually, seeing there’s no way to argue, no higher power to whom to appeal.

long way down stairs, hotter, more sulphurous, eventually, barren wastelands, and Old Nick, sitting on a rocky throne. “Mmm, he says, wasn’t expecting anyone, who are you?”. “I’m an Engineer”, says our hero. “mmm“, says Nick, “never had one of them before, what do you do?”

”Pretty much anything you want”

”Well, it’s pretty hot and uncomfortable here, can you fix it?”

”Sure, given labour and materials”.

So he’s given whatever he asks for and six months later, Hell is comfortably air conditioned. The Devil is impressed. The engineer points out that he’s sweaty and dirty, and asks for some more labour and materials. Another six months and we have hot and cold running water, and swimming pools. It’s actually rather nice.

The phone goes.

”yeeees?” Drawls his Satanic majesty.

”An Engineer, you say?, A mistake, you say? You want him back? No way! NOT A CHANCE!”

“ What’s that? You’ll sue? Don't make me laugh! Where are you going to get a lawyer?”
 
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