Just for a laugh - No AI please !

[Dan Randall]

A snail slithers into a pub and asks the barman for a Rum & Coke. “We don’t serve snails”, said the barman and with that, picked up the snail and chucked it outside.

A week later, the snail’s back -”Why the f**k did you do that?”, he says…

 

[Bigjohn]

What’s the difference between a HIPPO and a ZIPPO ???..??

A hippo is heavy, a zippo is a little lighter………..

I

 

[Pencarrow]

 

[Flaxfield]

 

[Flaxfield]

 

[Eastsidepilot]

A guy walks down the street to go to the pub, he get's there and as he goes to the door a Nun stops him, she says " alcohol is the devils drink and you will regret it", he looked at her and said "what do you mean", she said "it will destroy you from the inside !"
" don't be stupid" he replied " I've been drinking here for twenty years and I'm still alright"
The Nun replied "I'm warning you, you'll regret it", the guy said "Have you ever taken a drink ?" ..." No certainly not" said the Nun, " then how would you know ? ".
The guy says to the Nun "I tell you what, I'll buy you a drink and you can see for your self" the Nun replied I wouldn't know what drink to have, the guy says " think of any drink " The Nun says " alright I'll have a double gin and tonic". So the guy walks into the pub and orders a pint of bitter and a double gin and tonic.
The bar man seeing him on his own says " is that bloody Nun outside again !"

Col.

 

[Bigjohn]

As you get older loosing one close to you is a bit of a worry and concern, so much so that I am having to reconsider my career as a tour guide……….

 

[ovener]

 

[Eastsidepilot]

" Sorry we don't serve time travellers ! "
A time traveller walks into a bar....

 

[jcm@gwr]

 

[GrahamMc]

Seemed hard to believe but...
From wikipedia, 'Jack was the pet and assistant of double leg amputee signalman James Wide, who worked for the Cape Town–Port Elizabeth Railway service. James "Jumper" Wide had been known for jumping between railcars until an accident where he fell and lost both of his legs below the knee.[2] To assist in performing his duties, Wide purchased Jack in 1881, and trained him to push his wheelchair and to operate the railways signals under supervision. '


Link to Wikipedia
Truth stranger than fiction?

 

[Bigjohn]

A guy woke up on a blistering hot morning, showered. Whilst drying he said to his wife “what would you think the neighbours would say if I mowed the lawn like this? His wife replied “Probably that I married you for your money!!!!!!)

 

[John_B]

How to avoid being hit by a train on a level crossing, Dukes of Hazzard style!

 

[jcm@gwr]

 

[ovener]

Looks like the thieves sneaked off and did a runner..... I assume they weren't transporting them in bulk
hoppers like the picture below.



Train robbers swipe $2m worth of Nikes in heists across California and Arizona

 

[Eastsidepilot]

The Pope was having an intense conversation with an out and out Atheist, the Pope said to him "You are like a man blind folded in a dark room looking for a black cat that does not exist !"
The Atheist looked at him and said" On the contrary you too are also like a man blind folded in a dark room looking for a black cat that does not exist, the only difference is you found it !"

 

[Jordan or Plymouth Mad]

Looks like the thieves sneaked off and did a runner..... I assume they weren't transporting them in bulk
hoppers like the picture below.

View attachment 234766

Train robbers swipe $2m worth of Nikes in heists across California and Arizona

Can I use that photo to justify two engines pulling just 5 covered hoppers..?? (asking for a friend )

 

[timbowales]

View attachment 234834
Can I use that photo to justify two engines pulling just 5 covered hoppers..?? (asking for a friend )

Unfortunately, because of the curvature, you can't see the other 95

 

[Jordan or Plymouth Mad]

Unfortunately, because of the curvature, you can't see the other 95

Spoilsport..!!!

 

[Eastsidepilot]

View attachment 234834
Can I use that photo to justify two engines pulling just 5 covered hoppers..?? (asking for a friend )

...and the other two loco's in the middle