Oops! I should have known better than that John! I can't even use that classic Eric Morecambe line; "I was playing all the right notes... but not necessarily in the right order!"
I tend to forget at times that I only see the world around me in
shapes and colours! Numbers are a complete and baffling mystery to me.
Some of you might find this amusing, certainly puzzling but perhaps even enlightening? I will try to describe my condition thus:
All UK road signs are standardised. They use the same "font" (or "typeface") and are displayed in both proportion and "weight". When driving, this makes navigation at junctions and roundabouts an absolute nightmare! You may find this perplexing, but,
all the essential road numbers look the much the same to me!
I frequently get hopelessly lost!
Sat-nav might be the answer, but then I don't much like to put all my trust in that particular technology!
The only way that I have found to get around this problem, and indeed just to get around, is to study a map before setting out, then writing the numbers in order on a notepad,
each one marked in a distinctly different style! Placing the note on or near the dashboard for easy reference, I am then better able to recognise and distinguish the required numbers and hopefully end up on the right road!
Goodness knows how I have avoided getting caught for speeding though?! I almost always immediately forget what the limit is after passing the dartboards - that's assuming that I hadn't misread them in the first place! More alarmingly, unless the needle on my speedometer is exactly on the corresponding number,
I am never quite sure whether I'm supposed to be slowing down or speeding up!
I usually err on the safe side and choose the former option, or decide to play safe and aim for the lowest likely limit?
Guaranteed to annoy and frustrate any other motorists that may find themselves following me - I can't afford a fine, so sorry folks, but that's just too damn bad!
After spending a lifetime trying to hide this peculiar disability by rattling off meaningless numbers in wanton fashion, I am bound to get caught out? You might think I would have learned by now, but old habits die hard?!
As to the subject of
money: I have long resigned myself to the prospect of perishing in penury!
I almost always know when I have been ripped off - but by how much? I will never have the foggiest idea!
Back to the commission now though:
I am frequently asked what material I work
on! So this is the stuff:
Canson "Mi Teintes" pastel paper. It is acid free, as tough as old boots - it takes an awful lot of punishment when using pencils, and comes in some delightfully, and perfectly (appropriate) gloomy colours. By that I mean perfect for railway subjects;
Rusty browns, brownish greys, deep greens and black, lovely gorgeous black...
black...
BLACK! (just couldn't resist that)!
It does have two main drawbacks though.
Firstly; it has become something of a monkey to get hold of, and second;
It has a rather distressing habit of cockling (or rucking up) if any water based paint is applied. This latter medium is especially essential to build sufficient strength for "highlights" and to obtain depth and richness of finish.
This latter issue had troubled me for years, but then I recently decided (nothing ventured etc...?) to try the old watercolourist's trick:...
Cut paper to size required, but just less than the size of a suitable work-board. A brand new and unused piece of MDF is ideal - although
new is the essential point here!
After positioning taught at the corners, then good old fashioned "Gummed" paper tape is firmly and securely applied all around the border.
Using a dampened (not too wet) sponge, quickly apply an even spread of clean water.
The next part is to dry it rapidly again. I guess in the "old days" that placing the board facing the midday sun, or otherwise holding it in front of a stove would have sufficed?
But now we can cheat...
The end result is perfectly flat and is as tight as a drum skin!
I can now apply as much, and as thinly mixed washes of paint as I wish, anywhere on the picture.
Each application will immediately cockle the paper just as much as before, but then as if by magic, it rapidly settles back to that absolutely flat perfection!
There is still a slight problem though:
The paper is quite coarse - and awkwardly absorbent. The slightest and lightest pencil (or indeed any other type of) mark, including accidental and seriously unwanted ones are almost impossible to completely erase.
So now here comes the (old fashioned) technical illustrator's trick:
It is not a good idea to even touch the paper, let alone do any preparation work upon it, so all that is done separately on "detail" or tracing paper.
I am free then to draw, trace and draw again (and often time and time again!) until I am reasonably confident that there are no lines that didn't aught to be there! The final copy can then be taped at the top, tacked at the bottom and a sheet of tissue impregnated on one side with graphite slid underneath.
Using a hard, but not too well sharpened pencil, (there is the risk of cutting right through) the lines are carefully traced.
What I get then is a network of little slightly highlighted furrows.
By hopefully ensuring that I had only drawn those lines that represent a defined edge of any object within the picture, the task of "colouring in" is made very slightly easier.
At least that is the theory...!!!
Boy, does it go wrong sometimes. In fact, I cannot remember a single picture where I hadn't had to stop and try to work out how on earth I can hide one of those wretched furrows!
I am quite frequently asked what happens if I make a mistake?
It would be terribly impolite to give an honest answer to that...!!!
Pete.
granted some are less pleasant than others, but that's what life is all about.
